Friday, May 30, 2014

South Africa FTW

Two years ago, I was running from a lot of things. Some of my "dreams" as a sophomore in college didn't quite come true. I was a little caught off-guard, and when things don't go my way I tend to reevaluate every decision I've ever made, and that definitely included my major. So I went to a career counselor at Howard Payne (who had me figured out within minutes) because I needed a little more guidance as far as my future career was concerned. While I didn't necessarily make a decision on a career that day, I was introduced to Focus Leadership Institute in Colorado Springs. I applied, was accepted, finished my semester, then packed up, and headed out to Colorado.

I had received a scholarship for that summer from the organization, most of us had, and as a part of the scholarship, we had to volunteer in some way that summer. Every Tuesday night we had dinner in a park as a "family," and I volunteered to pick up the catering every week. A girl named Lindsey also volunteered with me. We had many fun adventures picking up the food every week, and many awesome conversations that I know were strategically set up and directed by God. The last week, Lindsey mentioned to me that her sister interned abroad with Focus on the Family (the organization that set up the leadership institute). It was then that the seed was planted. 

I inquired about volunteering abroad, and about a year ago, I applied to intern in the Australian office. A lot of random things happened within the American and Australian offices between the time I applied and the time I got an answer that delayed the application process. As time went on, I was also losing my desire to go to Australia. I wasn't sure what I was going to do if they said "yes," because my doubts were no longer just doubts, they had become pretty secure convictions. My prayer was that the Lord would have their answer be His answer.

Last October I finally got my answer I had been waiting for...kind of...It was a "no to Australia, but what about South Africa?" Okay, God, really? Is that my answer? What am I supposed to do with that? That's not even an answer. It's just another question!

I wrestled with the Lord for the next few months. After talking with one of my precious friends who has been such a good mentor for me, I came to the conclusion that this was going to be the first big decision as an 'adult' that would show me exactly how the Lord communicates to me. I have had to make other decisions before but nothing like this. The way in which God was trying to get my attention this time was very different and distinct.

No matter what I did, I did not have a peace about saying 'no.' For those of you who know me, I have a self-sabotaging mindset that tends to make me miserable. If I'm happy, I think I'm doing something wrong, so I create situations to make myself somewhat miserable...and I try to label it as "suffering for Jesus." It sounds ridiculous I know, but it's totally real. So that's what I thought this was at first; me identifying the fact that I didn't want to go to South Africa, then saying that because I would be happiest here in America, I must go to South Africa. (And this is why I'm exhausted all the time.)

Without going into too much detail on how I felt the Lord telling me to go to South Africa, and what eventually led me to make the decision, I will just go ahead and spit it out.


I AM GOING TO SOUTH AFRICA!!!


I bought my plane ticket today so... it's official. I leave in August, and expect to stay there at least 3 months but am definitely hoping and praying for more. I will be volunteering as a marketing/communications intern with Focus on the Family, a non-profit Christian organization based here in Colorado. I know that this is the next step that God has for me. I don't have a peace about doing anything else.There are still many details that need to be taken care of, but I am beyond excited. I am experiencing many different emotions really, but excitement is definitely the strongest. 

I have no idea why God has told me to go, but I'm going. I wasn't able to include all the little details in here about the decision because I honestly didn't want to type it all out...I'm lazy, but God is good and completely trustworthy. That pretty much sums it up. 

There are so many things to be grateful for in this season of my life, and I am looking forward to a summer full of fundraising, vacation, sweet time with family and friends, and weddings, weddings, weddings!!!!

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