When the Sun Goes Down and the Lights Burn Out

It's 1:45, and I am sleeping in my apartment for the last time. All my stuff is packed and ready to go, and it still hasn't hit me. I can't even begin to imagine what this summer has been for me. In approximately 2 hours I will be getting up to drive with one of my room mates to the airport here in the Springs. Everyone will be leaving tomorrow, and it just doesn't seem like reality. The tears have already started flowing, but I find that I tend to grow numb at times like this because it's easier that way. However, I know the reality that awaits me at home. When I get back to Texas they won't be there. We will literally be spread all across the United States...and Canada :) I think facing regrets when I go back home is something that has been on my mind. It's easier to evaluate situations once you're out of them and that's when I tend to learn. Colorado has treated me well, minus the fact that it was one of the hottest summers on record. At least there wasn't humidity...that's a plus.


I can't even begin to organize my thoughts right now. I have read a gazillion books, written a a trillion journals, and thought almost constantly. But right now I'd just like to scratch the surface and not go too deep. Crazy stuff tends to find its way into blogs when I decide to write this early in the morning...or late in the night...I don't know...


I'm excited about going back to Texas. While I love Colorado, it's not home. I'm sure I'll be taking that back once I burn my hand on my steering wheel, but for now I will remain in delusion. It's easy for me to think of all the reasons I don't want to leave because this summer has been an awesome experience, but I am trying to "focus" on the positive reasons for returning home. Here are a few:


1. chicken express sweet tea
2. I don't have to sit at stoplights for hours.
3. I can see where the roads are going for miles, and if there's a turn they warn a girl! I kind of have to guess where the roads here are gonna go next. 
4. I am looking forward to not making awkward eye contact with a particular mustang owner who lives at our apartment complex. He always seems to be out working on that thing, and I always manage to make the situation uncomfortable.
5. SNOWCONES! I WANT A STINKIN SNOWCONE! 
6. Ranger games
7. This is gonna be super gross, but the air makes your nose produce boogers at a crazy rate. Not that I have experience in this personally. I've just heard rumors. 
8. WHAT.A.BURGER.
9. MY BED.
10. Howard Payne
11. I am able to say that I am going to get a coke, and people don't judge me and question me when I come back with a Dr. Pepper. It's all coke people!


It is way too late for me to be doing this, and I can't even remember half of what I have written, but this has been a great summer that I would love to talk to any of you about. 


I have quite a few things hanging over my head right now, and Satan is already trying to stress me out to an unhealthy extreme. I always hate giving him credit, but let's be realistic. 


I am so excited about all that God has taught me. I can't believe how ignorant and naive I was about so many things. I had such a pride coming in thinking I knew everything there was to know about being a Christian since I was saved so young. As if, Gabi. I have been humbled countless times this summer and realize more and more every day how insignificant I am and yet how significant God has made me. It's a concept that I will probably never understand, but I know those days when I doubt and don't understand I have to fight back with truth. I don't care what lies Satan is trying to tease me with...I choose Jesus.