Saturday, June 30, 2012

Ramblings

Wow. That's all I can think when I look back at the past two weeks...has it been two weeks? I don't even know. 

Anywho, I am currently sitting in an apartment that is as dirty as it has ever been, eating a pb& honey, and drinking water out of a coffee mug because we haven't done the dishes in days. All my clothes are still packed up from the evacuation, but it's just good to be "home." Some of the other students headed to are in Breckenridge for the weekend, but I was one of few who choose to stay behind. I just needed a good weekend here. 

These past few weeks have just been a great time of growth in a really weird way. Last week we learned about other worldviews, and it was very interesting to see how other people view the world. It makes it easier to relate to them when we know where they are coming from. We had huge group projects where each group was in charge of accurately portraying different worldviews in comparison to Christianity such as Islam, Post Modernism, New Age, and Atheism. I have never heard of Post Modernism and New age before those classes, but we were given a ton of information on their worldview. The week was also about solidifying our worldview as Christians. We had to write a paper with the most broad topic I have ever attempted to write about; "What is your worldview?" I was overwhelmed to say the least. We all were. In The Universes Next Door, there are 8 solid questions the author, Sire, believes sum up everything you need to know about someone's worldview, and so I used those to make it a little more structured.  I got an A on the paper so you can stop stressing for me!

This week we started on discovering our identity. I am at a stage where I am just confused about everything, questioning everything, and affirming my faith, and then they bring up the question "who are you?" Thanks, guys. As if I wasn't confused enough. I don't know who I am! Great! Well, they begin to lay out God's design for us. We went back to the basic design of man and woman. It is incredible how He made us. It is so much deeper than the church today typically portrays it. We act as if certain characteristics should only be attribute to one or the other. The fact is that we possess everything that the other possess, but we were designed to be stronger in certain areas. 

We also took a strengths finder test to discover our strengths in leadership. It's the whole principle like if you judge a fish on it's ability to run it is going to feel like a failure the rest of it's life...I'm pretty sure I butchered that analogy, but I didn't feel like googling it to ensure my accuracy so deal with it. 

These are my top 5 strengths...I'm sure you will be able to agree that I am all of these.

 1. Harmony - meaning I like everyone to get along which can prevent me from always being honest with how I am feeling.
 2. Futurisitc- I like thinking about how certain situations may end up in the future.
 3. Maximizer - I enjoy making the most of what I have to work with. 
 4. Analytical - Duh. This one is super obvious. I can't even pick out my clothes in the morning without analyzing it. 
 5. Connectedness - I am able to see how all the little pieces will fit together to make a big picture. 

The main point they tried to get us to understand is that if we understand where we are strong we can work on that, and surround ourselves with people who have different strengths from us in order to have the most effective outcome. Our culture likes to focus on growing your weakness, but the reality is that working with our strengths will lead to a better outcome. Ultimately, not all of us lead the same, but we can lead with what we have. 

Oh gosh. I'm overwhelming myself just thinking about all I've learned...in a good way of course! 

We are also learning heavily about the lies that Satan tries to feed us, and often times we buy into them. It's because we don't understand how much value we have in Christ. It's about finding a balance of confidence in Him along with humility. I have always thought that to be humble I had to in some way think less of myself, but something that one of my professors said just hit me!

      "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's about thinking of yourself less." 

I find myself often walking around defeated just accepting every lie that Satan tells me. At the end of the day I lay down in my bed, and sometimes I just feel like complete crap and worthless. That would be most nights, but I am realizing that those thoughts are not of God. So I tell Satan to shut up and then fill my head with truths about who God says I am. It's that easy! :)

On a different topic:For those of you who know me, you know I hate driving. Well when my roommate broke her foot our second day that meant I would have to drive us everywhere. I hid my panic attack, and proceeded to go through the driving motions. Well guess what! I actually like driving a little bit now. I'm not about to say I love it by any means, but it doesn't make me want to throw up anymore. I drove in Denver yesterday and panicked once, but that is progress compared to the million times I usually freak out. I am also noticing that I have a little bit of aggressiveness in me that I haven't had before when driving. I don't want to say that Jesus made me aggressive, but I'm not gonna say He didn't if you know what I'm sayin :) But He has given me a confidence. I know it seems silly to some of you, but I'm telling you I have had such anxiety about driving for three years, and all it took was me coming to Colorado and my roommate breaking her foot to get me over that!

Update: Kayla washed the cups so I am no longer drinking out of a coffee mug. 



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